By John Huntington
By now, many New Year’s resolutions have been made, worked a bit, then a bit less, then dropped, leaving one more ‘failure’ notch on our self-help gun belts.
You know the drill – You reach a point of frustration with an unwanted condition (you’re too fat, too skinny, low energy, depressed) and then “finally” commit to “really do what it takes this time” to fix this problem. This decision is accompanied by self-criticism, fear, worry and guilt which you then use to motivate you to Just Do It till you either make or break.
The suffering experienced by being self-critical eventually stops you from even admitting things you do want to change. One more one more “have to” hanging over your head is not a recipe for a fun day!
Most people unconsciously use what could be called a Do-Have-Be approach to accomplishment. This means that by “doing” certain actions you will then “have” certain results which will put you in a desired “state of being” (happy, fit, at peace, etc.).
This assumes we can change what we “do” (eating, moving, thinking, feeling) without improving the way we “are” (our “state of being”). It also falsely assumes that by “having” your desired goal, you will automatically be happy and fulfilled. Look at the pop-stars who “had” what most would think would cause them to “be” happy, yet lost their lives to drugs and depression.
A better approach is Be-Do-Have, which is a central message in spiritual traditions around the world. Here the power to improve your health and happiness lies first in your “ways of being.” Suppose we could make needed lifestyle changes, while at the same time choosing “kinder ways of being” – experiencing more self-appreciation, satisfaction, peace and enjoyment. Can you see we might succeed more in making permanent change when we stop beating ourselves up?
There is a great gift in taking the mental/emotional leap to self-love. By choosing to “Be” a person that appreciates your current condition, honors your own history and recognizes you are “perfectly imperfect,” you will be much happier RIGHT NOW! And, with happiness and ease, you can make changes more quickly, enjoyably and with greater certainty.
Dr. Huntington practices Chiropractic, Biomedical Acupuncture and Physiotherapy in Oracle, Az. He enjoys gardening and has an organic-fed egg and broiler business with his son, Andrew 520-896-9844 firstname.lastname@example.org